The Twitter “UN-follow” phenomenon

I’ve garnered a LOT of attention on twitter and have noticed that people take social networking WAY too seriously. I mean people commit suicide over this bullshit. People try to sabotage entire companies, blackmail people, run scams that we are all too familiar with at this point and so on. Today though, what I’m going to focus on is the Twitter un-follow phenomenon and the insanity it brings out of people. I have been quietly conducting a social experiment of my own for quite some time and un-following the people who are closest to me, people who piss me off and then random persons who I exchange the occasional banter with via twitter.

I mean ** pauses to laugh** people are SINCERE about their bullshit and take being un-followed seriously. They pay for apps that tell them when people un-follow them and then they fucking SPAZZ THEE FUCK OUT? But why? Because their numbers dropped or do they feel like they’ve just lost a friend? I mean what’s good? Men act like they just got tea bagged and women act like they just got it in the ass with no lube. I mean does me following you on twitter REALLY mean that much? Let me break down the various un-follow responses and lack there of I’ve received:

Un-followed an ex: This dude spazzed the FUCK out and blew up my phone for about an hour… really dude? but we’re still friends on Facebook… Oh we’re not? Oh why because you removed me AND blocked me after I un-followed you on twitter? ** chuckles **

Un-followed the man I was dating: He either didn’t notice or didn’t care… GOOD!!! I speak to him daily anyway so why should he care? He can have his little corner of the internet back. VIVA LA FREEDOM! ** hold balls & walks in slow motion **

Un-followed a best friend: It never came up but I’m sure she noticed. Cool, we still chill and are best friends.

Un-followed a random person I networked with: ALERT ALERT!! You unfollowed me you BITCH!! Whooooa really? You’re THAT mad that you’re follower count dropped? Here’s a tip: book a session with the best therapist in town.

My people, my people… social networking is just that. I LITERALLY un-followed my parents and sister because they were getting on my nerves. If I can do that to them what makes you so special? You act like a) I can’t follow you again or b) you won’t get more followers. So when someone un-follows you, stop being a douche about it. It’s fucking TWITTER. Go outside and get a fucking REAL life. These are not your ACTUAL friends (well unless they are, and in that case, you see and talk to them all the time, what do you need twitter for? Stop being a stalker-ish creep). Or didn’t you know that already?

** FYI: To all my friends who I un-followed.. umm.. yea I may follow you back.. but again.. I may not. Please don’t have a mental/ emotional breakdown if I don’t. It’ll be okay. I still love you.